Why I'm the Best Wife Ever; or Why Wahied Needs a New Job

For those of you who don't know, the Egyptian governmental monthly salary for a museum curator doesn't really enable someone to provide the kind of lifestyle Lisy is accustomed to. (To be fair, it can't cover groceries). So Wahied also moonlights as a tour guide--a really good one. While he obviously has a great deal of knowledge about Egyptian Antiquities, and the level of English that can only be attained by speaking English at home (and which has enabled him to engage in conversations ranging from why the washing machine doesn't like him to whether or not giant white lizards will gnaw your fingers off while you sleep), his true gift for guiding lies in his unshakable charisma. Even after multiple days of not sleeping, being called 'Mr. Number One', 12 hours in the sun, and a day full of incredibly stupid questions ("why would they build that pyramid so close to that hotel?" "The Egyptians had beer? But I thought this was a Muslim country!") he still manages to be witty, charming and engaging. This skill will be tested today.

Wahied is spending the next month working with big bus religious tours from Indonesia. He does one day in Cairo, then two days in Sinai before leaving the group at the Israeli border, riding back to Cairo, showering and rushing off to the airport to pick up the next group.

There are two irritating things about these groups (other than the silly questions and the Mr. Number One business) 1) From the moment they land in Cairo to the moment they cross the border into Israel Wahied must be present at every second. He has to stay at their hotels until they are asleep and must be there when they wake up in the morning, and 2)their flights get in at 2:45am.

2:45am!

Here's how it works (or, at least, it worked last night)
At 1:00am I drove Wahied out to the gas station on the highway towards the airport, where he met the tour bus to go to the airport. At 3:30am he called me to let me know that they were 'on their way' and I left to go pick him up. At 4:15 am I picked him up at the hotel (out by the Pyramids). The two company representatives, one of whom I know quite well, were impressed at what an amazing wife Wahied has. One said: "I can't believe you drove all the way out here to pick up your husband at 4am" And the other said: "You can drive?!? ... Sorry, it's 4am."
At 5am we cooked and ate pancakes and then both fell asleep with our shoes still on, and at 8am we were awake and driving back to the hotel so he could be there before they had noticed he had gone.

By 10am I was back home, regretting the fact that it was now much too light (and I had much too much adrenaline from rush-hour Cairo traffic) to sleep, and spent the next 4 hours semi-comatose alternately thinking about what a great wife I am and worrying about my husband's chances of survival for the rest of the day.

In conclusion (and before I pass out)I think one thing is clear: I am the best wife ever. ;)